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Friday, October 20, 2006

Are you SURE it's not Saturday?

I didn't set my alarm last night. I woke up at 5:50-something and thought "oh, it must be Saturday since my alarm didn't go off". Stretched for a couple minutes and got to thinking that it really must be Friday. Started to doze off and heard the doorbell. Now, the doorbell didn't actually chime, but in my half-sleep I would have sworn it did. This is usually my sub-conscious mind trying to alert my conscious mind that it needs to WAKE UP. It's funny, normally it's a phone ringing sound. Once it was my Dad's voice calling me. Sometimes it is becuase DS is calling me or it's my pager going off.
I got up late and DS got up early. We try to avoid crossing our paths in the am because I hear a lot of "Mommy, you stay with me today!" or "I come to work with you!" Neither of which is likely most days. The Da Kane was irritated because he felt that I woke DS up unnecessarily. When he's calling loudly to me "Mommmy, need to go potty" - I can't just ignore him.
And I got on the scale and was down .5 lbs - then I got on it again to be sure I was in the exact right spot on the scale and I was UP .5 lbs. Now I'm getting PISSED!
This is my history with dieting. I do really well for a couple weeks (usually I lose more like 12 or 15 lbs the first 2-3 weeks) and then I stall out. And then I start cheating. And then it's all over.
How do I break that cycle this time? I am tired of writing down every bite. Of being really hungry from 10:00 - 11:30 every morning and waiting anxiously for my 3 pm snack every afternoon. It really sucks to think about food almost all the time, but only eat a tiny bit. I am so ready for a big mexican combo plate at Amigo's - the chile relleno, tamale and cheese enchilada is my favorite - all smothered with green sauce. Or the Chicken Chimichanga - which is just to DIE FOR.
Shit.


And to add insult to injury - the nutritionist's office never called me back yesterday. Both the doctor and the dietician told me to call anytime and I have called twice but never had a return call.
Can you believe I was thinner when DS was 8 weeks old than I am today??

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