Still feeling pretty yucky. That would be the medical term. Ob/Gyn Doc's latest guess is Asthmatic Bronchitis. But since he doesn't even listen to my heart, much less my lungs, I think he is just guessing. I may need to see my Primary Care doc.
I am concerned that some of this is prepartum depression. I have a long history of mild depression. I can feel it, but have been off my anti-depressants this whole pregnancy. When I had Kimo they were deemed pretty safe, so I was on them about 1/2 the time. This time around they have some mildly disturbing studies, so I haven't taken them at all.
My reading tells me that prepartum depression increases the risk of postpartum depression, so this is something I will bring up at my appointment Friday.
I am very irritable and on-edge. My husband is getting the brunt of it, but even working from home, I am taking a lot out on my co-workers and boss. I can hardly stand myself.
I vacillate about 10 times a day about taking short term disability. This indecisiveness is making me batty too! I also can't decide what to do with the early c-section suggestion.
I have absolutely no energy for housework or baby prep. I really must get going on washing baby clothes and fixing window treatments in the kids' room and keeping the mess to a minimum. Much less several other projects I would like to do.
Sorry for another incoherent, non-cohesive ramble. Someday I will write a real blog post with a theme, and intro, and a conclusion!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Quick Update
- Still out on sick/vacation leave. I don't seem to be getting any better.
- Da Kane means "the man" in Hawaiian. Kimo and Maile are common Hawaiian names - so all my pseudonyms are HI in origin.
- I lived in HI for 5 years in the '90s and da Kane and I got married there. My favorite place in the world is the Big Island of Hawaii. Perhaps some day I will live there again.
- Ob/Gyn appt tomorrow. We will do an NST on Maile and discuss what the heck to do about my cold/congestion/strep - whatever the heck it is.
- Maile seems as active as ever. She just likes kicking my butt I guess.
- Da Kane and Kimo seem to be recovering from their Strep bouts just fine. Lucky guys.
- I got a new rocker/glider/recliner for mother's day for the kids' room. I'm SO EXCITED! The first year of Kimo's life I walked around with a sore neck most days from dozing off with him in the middle of the night. Now I won't have that particular problem!
Friday, May 11, 2007
3 down, 1 without symptoms
Perhaps we've found the answer to my illness mystery. Kimo has strep also. Not a single symptom - no fever, no cold, no sore throat. A small patch of rash on his upper chest. I wouldn't have ever suspected Strep if Da Kane's test hadn't come back positive.
Kimo's last cold was 3-4 weeks ago. Talking to his daycare today, one of his little friends (L) was diagnosed with strep 5 or 6 weeks ago after his brother came down with it. L never had a symptom. Daycare says they put a sign up. Well, they put a sign on the front door - "we have one confirmed case of strep". Of course, I took note of it, but come on - how about telling me that a child he spends 11 hours a day with has strep and no symptoms - that would have made more of an impression.
Anyway, all 3 of us are on antibiotics. I suspect I have just kept getting re-infected this past 6 weeks. Maybe there's hope yet that I will improve. But if Kimo goes back to school Monday and just gets re-infected because another kid in his class has symptom-less strep, I am going to be ANGRY. Untreated strep can cause rheumatic fever/scarlet fever, problems with the feteus I'm carrying.
Da Kane is in Las Vegas. I am single-momming it for the mother's day weekend, with both of us not feeling well. I went ahead and took a week off to try and get better. I'm sick of taking 2-3 days off each week and still not improving. My doc is willing to put me on disability, but I really hope that's not necessary.
Kimo's last cold was 3-4 weeks ago. Talking to his daycare today, one of his little friends (L) was diagnosed with strep 5 or 6 weeks ago after his brother came down with it. L never had a symptom. Daycare says they put a sign up. Well, they put a sign on the front door - "we have one confirmed case of strep". Of course, I took note of it, but come on - how about telling me that a child he spends 11 hours a day with has strep and no symptoms - that would have made more of an impression.
Anyway, all 3 of us are on antibiotics. I suspect I have just kept getting re-infected this past 6 weeks. Maybe there's hope yet that I will improve. But if Kimo goes back to school Monday and just gets re-infected because another kid in his class has symptom-less strep, I am going to be ANGRY. Untreated strep can cause rheumatic fever/scarlet fever, problems with the feteus I'm carrying.
Da Kane is in Las Vegas. I am single-momming it for the mother's day weekend, with both of us not feeling well. I went ahead and took a week off to try and get better. I'm sick of taking 2-3 days off each week and still not improving. My doc is willing to put me on disability, but I really hope that's not necessary.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Freaked Out
Da Kane just called, he wouldn't go to the clinic yesterday, but went today and sure enough, he has Strep. My rapid test 2 weeks ago was negative, but now I wonder if this is why I can't get well. Untreated Strep can cause all kinds of problems for me and baby. I am so worried! Plus, Kimo has some red spots on his neck, near his chest so I am worried about Scarlet Fever with him. He has run a small temp a few times, but really hasn't seemed too sick since the original cold we all got 5 or 6 weeks ago.
Come to think of it, Kimo has been whinier and clingier than usual and has started having "accidents" much more frequently.
I have a call into his ped's office and I go back to my ob/gyn this afternoon. Hopefully we can get to the bottom of this and none of us will have lasting effects. Da Kane is still flying out tonight - boy bet that hurts with the fluid build up behind his ear drums.
Come to think of it, Kimo has been whinier and clingier than usual and has started having "accidents" much more frequently.
I have a call into his ped's office and I go back to my ob/gyn this afternoon. Hopefully we can get to the bottom of this and none of us will have lasting effects. Da Kane is still flying out tonight - boy bet that hurts with the fluid build up behind his ear drums.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Unbelievable
I can hardly believe it but I have another cold. It started on Friday and I hoped for a day that it was just the last legs of the last cold. But no, a completely different set of symptoms. This makes 3 colds in a row, in less than a month.
I've done 2 rounds of antibiotics this month, so I think my immune system has been shot to hell. I started a pro-biotic today to try and bring things back into alignment. I also got some echinacea for my immunity. For the first time ever, my favorite health food store would not make any recommendations. They don't deal with too many women who are 8 months pregnant. I am too sick and tired to do all the research, so I'll stick with the probiotic and the echinacea for now.
Trying to remember what else to do to bolster immunity and it's pretty funny. Eat right (I have little or no appetite), sleep plenty (sure, like that's going to happen), exercise moderately (sure, like that's going to happen). Keep my sugars in control (yeah, right while drinking juice and eating cough drops and syrups).
I have started this superstitious thinking that this tough 3rd trimester does not bode well for the baby. The pregnancy with Kimo was so easy, and he was such an easy baby. This pregnancy has been so tough, I really hope Maile is not a cranky, colic-y baby.
I took another day off today to try and rest. I am burning through my sick leave like crazy. My desk is not unpacked at the new place. My attitude the few hours I was there yesterday wasn't good. I hope that my co-workers can understand that it's the pregnancy and the constant illness and not that my attitude just sucks. I'm not real thrilled about the new building, but so what, at least we're all in one building now and the digs are newer. I am going on maternity and then my job probably only lasts another 6 months after that, so I should just turn my attitude around.
Tonight is childbirth class. I might go alone. Da Kane is really sick (man-cold) so I don't think he should go spread his germs.
The house is pretty wrecked, which is a little embarassing with the babysitter. I am going to go take a hot shower and try to clean the kitchen at least.
Pray, chant, or send white light (or however you send good thoughts) for me. I honestly don't think I can stand another 6 weeks of this.
I've done 2 rounds of antibiotics this month, so I think my immune system has been shot to hell. I started a pro-biotic today to try and bring things back into alignment. I also got some echinacea for my immunity. For the first time ever, my favorite health food store would not make any recommendations. They don't deal with too many women who are 8 months pregnant. I am too sick and tired to do all the research, so I'll stick with the probiotic and the echinacea for now.
Trying to remember what else to do to bolster immunity and it's pretty funny. Eat right (I have little or no appetite), sleep plenty (sure, like that's going to happen), exercise moderately (sure, like that's going to happen). Keep my sugars in control (yeah, right while drinking juice and eating cough drops and syrups).
I have started this superstitious thinking that this tough 3rd trimester does not bode well for the baby. The pregnancy with Kimo was so easy, and he was such an easy baby. This pregnancy has been so tough, I really hope Maile is not a cranky, colic-y baby.
I took another day off today to try and rest. I am burning through my sick leave like crazy. My desk is not unpacked at the new place. My attitude the few hours I was there yesterday wasn't good. I hope that my co-workers can understand that it's the pregnancy and the constant illness and not that my attitude just sucks. I'm not real thrilled about the new building, but so what, at least we're all in one building now and the digs are newer. I am going on maternity and then my job probably only lasts another 6 months after that, so I should just turn my attitude around.
Tonight is childbirth class. I might go alone. Da Kane is really sick (man-cold) so I don't think he should go spread his germs.
The house is pretty wrecked, which is a little embarassing with the babysitter. I am going to go take a hot shower and try to clean the kitchen at least.
Pray, chant, or send white light (or however you send good thoughts) for me. I honestly don't think I can stand another 6 weeks of this.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Back in Action - who else is out there?
Forgive my break in posting. I was feeling un-read until 1of3wishes posted yesterday. Somedays I look at my blog and see a couple weeks with no comments and lose the urge to post. I don't really post just for readers - but it's obviously a big part of the blog-lure. (So, please de-lurk and leave me a comment!)
I am about 92% recovered from the cold/cough from hell. I still have a pulled muscle in my left side from coughing so hard and so uncontrollably. I lost a tremendous amount of sleep and actually took 3 days of sick leave last week. I cannot tell you the last time I took 3 days off in one week for my own illness. My immune system is just shot. I am taking precautions to try and not catch too much else from Kimo and the germ factory (daycare) over the next 7 or 8 weeks.
Da Kane and I attended our first Lamaze class this week. Which means Kimo had a babysitter - his first in over a year. He did great, we did great, but the sitter had trouble finding us so we were about 15 minutes late. I'm sure I am the oldest Mom in the class, but I don't think it was immediately apparent to everyone. The biggest divide was already having a child, while the rest of the class were first-timers. I didn't get an immediate warm fuzzy about the instructor, but she's ok. Only 3 more classes.
I swing like a metronome on triple-time from being sure I can do a natural/vaginal childbirth (with drugs) to wanting to sign up for another c-section. I know it's just plain old fear. I am almost dizzy from it. This is one reason a doula may be helpful in my situation. I know that this is my last chance to experience birth, and I know in my heart that if billions of women have done this for thousands of years, that I can too, but I'm afraid given the smallest obstacle, I will cave quickly and neither da Kane nor da Doctor will help me remember my goal.
Having Maile home safe and sound is the main objective, but I want to give birth to her, not have her extracted from me surgically. I want her to decide when she is ready to be born - not my doctor's son's soccer league.
It is amazing to me that we (humans) still do not know what starts labor exactly. Perhaps some of my medical blog buddies can correct that, but that's what the lamaze instructor said and my doctor seconded. We know it's probably the hormone oxytocin (not oxycontin, the rush's drug of choice), but we don't know why those levels suddenly surge.
My diet has not improved much, except for not having an appetite for a week. I lost 3 lbs. I am very glad I asked for the Humulin pen, that way I can respond to the handful of swedish fish or the pizza lunch rapidly.
The big work move is this weekend and I will be very glad to have that behind us. Then the following weekend da Kane has to go on business for 4 full days, leaving me single-parenting. After that I should be able to spend the last month nesting.
I also have several projects to get done on the kids room, so we can move Kimo in there at least a month before Maile comes home. I think that is best, even though she'll be in our room for 2-3 months, it would be good to get him settled for a while before we uproot his life.
Kimo is very cute talking about "my baby" in his belly. No matter how often his father and I tell him that only ladies can have babies, he is insistent. This weekend he said that he has TWO babies in his belly, so we will have 3 at home this summer. He also asked me to put my hand on his tummy and announced "did you feel my baby kick?". It is beyond adorable.
As with most mothers the 2nd time around (or so I have read), I have moments of worry that I will not be able to love Maile as much as I do Kimo. I try to trust that the more love you feel, experience, express then the more that is available to you.
OB/GYN UPDATE - I had my weekly NST today and baby was doing great. The 8 month growth check ultrasound is Monday. We are taking Kimo, which should be interesting!
I am about 92% recovered from the cold/cough from hell. I still have a pulled muscle in my left side from coughing so hard and so uncontrollably. I lost a tremendous amount of sleep and actually took 3 days of sick leave last week. I cannot tell you the last time I took 3 days off in one week for my own illness. My immune system is just shot. I am taking precautions to try and not catch too much else from Kimo and the germ factory (daycare) over the next 7 or 8 weeks.
Da Kane and I attended our first Lamaze class this week. Which means Kimo had a babysitter - his first in over a year. He did great, we did great, but the sitter had trouble finding us so we were about 15 minutes late. I'm sure I am the oldest Mom in the class, but I don't think it was immediately apparent to everyone. The biggest divide was already having a child, while the rest of the class were first-timers. I didn't get an immediate warm fuzzy about the instructor, but she's ok. Only 3 more classes.
I swing like a metronome on triple-time from being sure I can do a natural/vaginal childbirth (with drugs) to wanting to sign up for another c-section. I know it's just plain old fear. I am almost dizzy from it. This is one reason a doula may be helpful in my situation. I know that this is my last chance to experience birth, and I know in my heart that if billions of women have done this for thousands of years, that I can too, but I'm afraid given the smallest obstacle, I will cave quickly and neither da Kane nor da Doctor will help me remember my goal.
Having Maile home safe and sound is the main objective, but I want to give birth to her, not have her extracted from me surgically. I want her to decide when she is ready to be born - not my doctor's son's soccer league.
It is amazing to me that we (humans) still do not know what starts labor exactly. Perhaps some of my medical blog buddies can correct that, but that's what the lamaze instructor said and my doctor seconded. We know it's probably the hormone oxytocin (not oxycontin, the rush's drug of choice), but we don't know why those levels suddenly surge.
My diet has not improved much, except for not having an appetite for a week. I lost 3 lbs. I am very glad I asked for the Humulin pen, that way I can respond to the handful of swedish fish or the pizza lunch rapidly.
The big work move is this weekend and I will be very glad to have that behind us. Then the following weekend da Kane has to go on business for 4 full days, leaving me single-parenting. After that I should be able to spend the last month nesting.
I also have several projects to get done on the kids room, so we can move Kimo in there at least a month before Maile comes home. I think that is best, even though she'll be in our room for 2-3 months, it would be good to get him settled for a while before we uproot his life.
Kimo is very cute talking about "my baby" in his belly. No matter how often his father and I tell him that only ladies can have babies, he is insistent. This weekend he said that he has TWO babies in his belly, so we will have 3 at home this summer. He also asked me to put my hand on his tummy and announced "did you feel my baby kick?". It is beyond adorable.
As with most mothers the 2nd time around (or so I have read), I have moments of worry that I will not be able to love Maile as much as I do Kimo. I try to trust that the more love you feel, experience, express then the more that is available to you.
OB/GYN UPDATE - I had my weekly NST today and baby was doing great. The 8 month growth check ultrasound is Monday. We are taking Kimo, which should be interesting!
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