To VBAC or not to VBAC, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to face the slings and arrows of outrageous childbirth or to take scalpel up with a scheduled cesarean section?
My heart REALLY, REALLY wants to try for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). But, I have little support for this option from my ob/gyn who I would HATE to change after 5 years, 4 miscarriages and the birth of my son. Da Kane also doesn't see any reason for it. So, I might need to hire a Doula or just go it unsupported. It is supposed to be healthier for baby and less risky me than a surgical birth, but there is a 0.6 - 1% chance of uterine rupture which would mean surgery anyway, and a slighter risk of serious repercussions for baby or I (up to and including death, but that is a minuscule percentage).
I do not know why I want one so badly. To be a part of the sisterhood of women? To understand the natural birthing process? To be awake and alert and feel more like a mother and less like a vessel having a child removed?
The largest negatives are mostly logistical. My doc is up near work, home is 55 miles south. That means at least a 45 min drive to the hospital, which could be a problem for false labor or when labor actually starts and Da Kane and I are freaking out.
DS will need someplace to go or someone to come watch him. We have very few friends near where we live and certainly no one I'd feel comfortable calling at 2 am to come over. There isn't any family we could have come stay for a couple weeks either. Obviously this would be a PRIORITY to work out.
Those are 2 HUGE reasons to go with a scheduled surgical delivery. But they're just logistics, we're talking my last childbirth opportunity for life.
Oh yes, I also need to call my insurance company and see if they cover tubal ligation and if there's any financial benefit to doing it as part of the c-section rather than a separate surgical procedure a day or two after delivery. Funny, I feel inner resistance and I've always thought that was the way to go once we were done adding to our family. Part of me thinks if I am having this one at 44, maybe it's possible to have another at 46 or beyond, it's certainly not unheard of. But how many miscarriages can I take? 3 in a row was pretty devastating. Then we also get into the environmental reasons to stick with zero population growth (2 kids to replace Da Kane and I on the earth). Of course, we both have 2 siblings who haven't reproduced, so theoretically, we could have up to 6 and still be zero growth from our generation. MAN, am I splitting hairs or WHAT? Wouldn't adoption after 2 biologic children really be the way to go? I haven't used any birth control in 5 years and going back to it would be a major drag.
It helps to put all this in writing. I must say a repeat cesarean is looking like the logical choice.